Shut up and :)

my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work

iboughtafuckinggateau:

Have you ever noticed how horrifying those smiley french fries are in groups?

they’re like

you’re burning us alive

our insides are melting

hELP US

how I tell stories

me: and then she was like
me: and im like
me: but then shes like
me: then theyre like
me: so i was like
me: yeah like
me: i know like
me: ye

kariflower:

Oh my God, the greatest post.

“So your life is basically food, sleep, Tumblr & hockey?”

jets-canucks:

snoopdeer:

my friend lost his mobile the other day so i asked if he wanted me to phone him and he said it was on silent so there was no way of finding it and i said well if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it

he didn’t laugh and he didn’t find his phone